Best Dick Cheney Shooting Joke
I'm sure there is no one out there who hasn't yet heard about Dick Cheney's unfortunate hunting accident, where he shot his hunting buddy, prominent Texas attorney Harry Whittington, in the face. As Whittington is expected to recover fully, the jokes are already flying fast and furious. The best one I've seen yet (via):
Update: Another joke, this one in the form of a handy diagram for Dick Cheney's next hunting trip, also courtesy of Wonkette:
Dick Cheney Finally Takes a Stand Against Trial LawyersPut any other ones you especially like in comments. I'll update the post as they come in.
Update: Another joke, this one in the form of a handy diagram for Dick Cheney's next hunting trip, also courtesy of Wonkette:
posted by orthomom at 11:08 AM
27 Comments:
I thought this was a contest for the best Chaney shooting cartoon.
"As Whittington is expected to recover fully, the jokes are already flying fast and furious."
Your wording suggests that if he weren't expected to recover fully, the jokes wouldn't be flying fast and furious. There's no way of knowing what would have happened if what happened had happened differently, but I suspect you're mistaken.
Unfortunately, if the guy died, God forbid, it would not stop the late night comics and others from having a field day. Look at how much fun they had at the Michael Jackson trial, although that involved serious (though not life-threatening) charges and with the Robert Blake and OJ trials that involved murder. Our public humor is becoming increasingly cruel.
sorry to say this anonymous, but even if the guy died, even if he lay in a coma for the next 30 years, this would be a funny story.
It isn't every day that the sitting vice president of the United states shoots someone. especially one as reputedly tough as nails as Dick Cheney.
"Look at how much fun they had at the Michael Jackson trial, although that involved serious (though not life-threatening) charges and with the Robert Blake and OJ trials that involved murder. Our public humor is becoming increasingly cruel."
while we're on the topic of funny, the only thing not funny about these joke trials is that innocent people were hurt by these animals AND that they got off scot free. As for their respective trials....VERY funny!
We have to wonder whether the seventy-eight year old Whittington had been complaining about the doughnut in the medicare drug plan just before his friend shot him.
Cheney reforms the GOP base, old-school style.
if this is what cheney does to a friend, imagine what he'll do to terrorists....
Cheney '08!!
"if this is what cheney does to a friend, imagine what he'll do to terrorists...."
HEEEEYYYY. This line (although stated better) came from my blog....posted yesterday.
Come up with your own line, chump!
www.stillwonderin.blogspot.com
From Alex (on one of my threads)
"Imagine if Ted Kennedy sprayed someone in the face!
Wait. Never mind."
Duck Season!
Wabbit Season!
Duck Season!
Wabbit Season!
Wawyer Season!
I don't understand how you can mistake a 6 foot human in a bright orange vest for a 6 inch brown bird.
Who said anything about mistook? :)
Anyway, from a Malkin reader...
"I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney than ride with Ted Kennedy."
and thats why i commented on db that i think he did it on purpose. glad you read my comment there too.
"I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney than ride with Ted Kennedy."
I invite you to do either, Ezzie.
Doesnt make for a good hunter if he can not only miss his target but miss the kill.
guns don't shoot people, the vice president shoots people.
Actually, that was from Dily Kos, and the line was:
Guns don't hurt people, megalomaniacal insane ...vice presidents hurt people.
I invite you to do either, Ezzie.
I'd rather ride with Cheney. I've never been a hunting guy.
Jon Stewart covered this story beautifully this evening. His line was "Cheney's Got a Gun".
Is anyone else shocked, shocked that the White House is aready trying to blame the victim?
http://www.bradenton.com/mld/bradenton/news/politics/13863636.htm
Rules of hunting:
Know where companions are.
Announce your location.
If you know your companions have lagged behind you don't turn and shoot.
If you have lagged behind, you yell as you approach.
susan
From the National Rifle Association's Gun Safety Rules:
Know your target and what is beyond.
Be absolutely sure you have identified your target beyond any doubt. Equally important, be aware of the area beyond your target. This means observing your prospective area of fire before you shoot. Never fire in a direction in which there are people or any other potential for mishap. Think first. Shoot second.
http://www.nrahq.org/education/guide.asp
I believe they are major contributors to and have tremendous support from the Republican Party, and know something about how to appropriately handle firearms.
I could be wrong, though.
The National Rifle Association also supports a lot of Democrats. John Murtha and John Dingell come to mind immediately.
"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS:
"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."
"But here is the sad part before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."
"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
"The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC:
"Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.
"That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."
"I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'"
"Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central:
"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."
"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted it's just not worth it."
"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS:
"He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."
"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "
"The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."
"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."
'course, after the picture of the "quail" and the republican, the next natural stream-o-conscious joke by the comediens shoudl be "quail" vs. "quayle." LOL.
Cheney's defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the White House since Bill Clinton." --Jay Leno
"When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher. No, the other guy!" --Jay Leno
"This is a great story. You've got the Vice President, a shotgun, a bunch of rich guys hunting tiny little birds. The only thing that could possibly make this story better is if he shot Michael Jackson." --Jimmy Kimmel
"The man who was shot is named Harry Whittington. He's a high powered Republican lawyer, he was very lucky. They say the only reason that he wasn't killed is he was wearing the body armor that never got shipped to our troops." --Jimmy Kimmel
Post a Comment
<< Home