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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I've Been Tagged - "You Rule"

Krum tagged me with this meme in response to a ridiculous series of ads put out by Virgin Cellular. Basically, the Virgin ad campaign attempts to pitch their cellular service to various New York neighborhoods by pointing out what makes said neighborhoods "rule" - except that the ads seem to try a bit too hard to be irreverent and ironic, and some residents of the neighborhoods in question don't seem quite as amused as Virgin hoped they'd be. Details are here at Krum's, and Jameel, SW and Ezzie already put out their entries, and there are also some here in the comments to DB's post. So here's mine, and before you jump all over me, as Krum pointed out, it's "intentionally obnoxious".
Cedarhurst, you rule! You're not Lawrence - and you don't want to be (Okay, at least some of you don't want to be). So maybe your SUVs are a little smaller, your lawns a bit rattier and your street names less, well...waspy sounding. And maybe your shuls' womens sections aren't well appointed enough - requiring congregants to mill about in front. And so what if you don't have your very own private Country Club? Because you, Cedarhurst, are open to all - whether you’re a shopper desiring a 200-dollar tankini for your two-year-olds to be seen in among the Atlantic Beach Beach Club set, or just a hungry soul hoping for a few insults with your bagels, lox and shmear. Your ritzier neighbor to the southeast may be fairer, but does not put a candle to your will-power, O skinny-latte-sipping, Hewly-tasting, yoga pants under skirts, power walking with your bugaboos down Central Avenue to the gym...so you can power walk some more. And how else can you be upwardly mobile without a mobile phone plan with no annual contracts?
Feel free to leave your own attempts with neighborhoods you know well, here in comments or on your own blogs.

55 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny you should mention "hewly tasting" seeing as hoe the store is not kosher and many people go there and buy items other than the ice cream!!!!

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol. Good job om, and good job on being good natured in you making fun and not meanspiritied with this.

And anon, the yogurt there is definitely kosher. I don't know who you are talking about, but anyone I know only buys the yogurt there. There's nothing wrong with that.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish people would just worry about themselves and what they are eating, how they are behaving, and not worry what others are doing. Sheesh!!!!

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Cedarhurst defines itself as "not being lawrence"? How insecure.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, I think that's the joke, anon 11:10.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, I think that's the joke, anon 11:10.

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if the vaad doesnt certify the store who's hecsher is it on the yogurt?

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Instead of missing the forest for the trees and arguing over the hasgacha of the yogurt store (or pointing out that the correct spelling is "Hewlee") can we please instead bask in the sublimely subtle dig at Toddy's? Love it! OM, I'm impressed.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Flatbush, you rule! Your commitment to the Jewish religion is insane, and we know that creativity is not the main thing. You all wear your black and white, sit in your shules, say the same prayers and read the same books over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over again and struggle to find novel ways of harrassing yourselves with stringent halachot to be closer to God! How great is your community O flatbush, that you find new ways to harass yourself in the name of God, and when you need to call your chavrusa to discuss brand new stringincies in halacha to make your lives more difficult in the name of God, try our mobile phone plan with no annual contracts by virgin cellular, its your contract with hashem that counts!

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice 'Ode to Flatbush'. Just plug in Lakewood and you have another masterpiece.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm the one with the "Ode to Flatbush." How is this for Lakewood-


Lakewood you rule! Actually your rabbis do, because you have a mentality from a thousand years ago. Who could shun the outside world, like you Lakewood? Who can believe that science is evil, reject having girlfriends, reject getting college degrees and careers, reject and having fun on Saturday like you Lakewood? You rival Afghanistan in your religious furiosity, you hold modernity in animosity, and when you are ready to leave the stone age Virgin Cellular is here to help you connect to the rest of the world with our mobile phone plan with no annual contracts.

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wose hechsher? The O-K gives the hashgacha onthe Yogurt but the Vaad has zero presence there. The issue is not the ice cream the issue is being seen there and then assuming that all is kosher.
This year an 11th grader from DRS bought a non-kosher cake from there and brought it to school assuming all was kosher since his friends all eat there.

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not like there aren't enough totally kosher yogurt and ice cream stores in town. How about that new bagel store that opened up with a new hechsher?

7:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5 Towns, you once ruled. When there was peace and harmony among neighbors without any concern for ones religious prespective or ones school of choice. You have the chance to rule again. Good Luck.

7:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OM's shot at Cedarhurst was a good natured attempt to use humor to describe some of the comings and goings in the neighborhood. The anonymous poster of the flatbush and lakewood ads however, is clearly a very nasty person with too much time on their hands. To just simply take an unprovoked cheap shot at another person, let alone entire communties because they are somewhat diffrent than you in my opinion is despicable, and against everything our religion stands for.

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sublimely subtle dig at Toddy's?

Dig? What dig?

As one of my favorite customers once pointed out: "Jay, it isn't the fact that you're obnoxious that riles people, it's that you're proud of it like it's some worthy character trait that gets people going."

Toddy's -- obnoxious and proud of it for 61 years!!! (Yes, my father was obnoxious, too.)

JT

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear OM I am glad anom 1:16 made that point that it is OK to poke good natured fun at ourselves. B'H for comic relief, but why bash Lakewood or Flatbush? As a parent of a Lakewood Bochur I have heard of unbelievable hasmda in learning to all hours of the day and every day of the week. Keeping the flame of Torah learning is quite hard in this ikvasa d'meshica, let us not compound that with virulent loshen hora. Please take down those two nasty comments about Lakewood and Flatbush. Also a sitting Judge in NYC let me tell you that very few people who come before me can write well regardless of public or Yeshiva background.

3:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please take down those two nasty comments about Lakewood and Flatbush.

This is what he says when he can't prove that the ads are factually wrong.

BTW, in American democracy, freedom of speech is meant to protect speech that you DON'T like. If you have such a problem with that you don't belong working for the courts in the Unietd States as you seemed to have implied that you do but rather as a laborer in North Korea for two cents an hour.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

loved your post om - i hope to join the skinny-latte-sipping, yoga pants under skirt set this summer, and i can't wait.

cedarhurst and proud.

cedarhurst rules.

7:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The posts concerning Lakewood, Flatbush and Far Rockaway are fine.
Under the JEWliban, our women will be wearing burqas 2 generations from now. And "chayav misa" is not far behind that.

9:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The intolerance toward fellow jews displayed by certain posters on this sight is beyond understanding. There is enough anti semitism in this world, we dont need to add our own to the list. Just because someone has diffrent hashkafos than you does not mean that it is open season to trash them. Its sad to see that in a world where the jewish nation stands alone, we dont even have eachother to rely on.

10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The orthodox should drop the Mr. Innocent crap on why the Jewish people are divided. Everyone knows that the orthodox consider secular jews or jews not as religious as they are goyem just like the rest of the gentiles.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

typo, jews not as religious as they AS goeym just like the rest of the gentiles.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Bagel Munch said...

OM,
I just don't get it - Please explain why the disgusting, hateful, slanderous comments above remain, but my tongue and cheek rant about Toddy's is yanked?
What standard do you apply to make these decisions?
Seriously, I think your readers are owed an explaination.

4:10 PM  
Blogger orthomom said...

bagel munch:
try again without making fun of any specific person's appearance. I will definitely allow it through.

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The joke Flatbush and Lakewood ads that I wrote are not all that unfactual. Not at all.

4:48 PM  
Blogger Abbi said...

Dear OM I am glad anom 1:16 made that point that it is OK to poke good natured fun at ourselves. B'H for comic relief, but why bash Lakewood or Flatbush?


Um, Mr. Judge- so comic relief is ok at the expense of other people, but it's not ok to poke fun at the "holy" Lakewood and Flatbush? Nice.

6:27 AM  
Blogger YMedad said...

Glad to see that orthodox Jewish humor has come a long way. When I played for the Chofetz Chaim of Forest Hills Yeshiva basketball team in 1962-64, including the infamous game down at RJJ which broke out into a full-court fight, our sweaters and team shirts carried the letters YPHS = Yeshiva Preparatory High School. When talking to the opposit team's (female) cheering section, we always claimed it stood for You're Pretty Hot Stuff. There was another version but we can't have it printed here.

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lawrence, you rule! Or rather, should I say tu regla! After all, I'm sure I'm talking only to the spanish maids who run the households. Silly me, I forgot you're all out in the Hamptons this time of year. But that's all well and fine because you do support most of the mosdos in the entire world. And the kiddushim you indulge in at the Lawrence Village Country Club only keeps half of the ER room busy on weekends. Rather than lower yourselves to covering your yoga pants with a mini, you do the right thing by having your personal trainer visit you in the privacy of your own home. A home that hosts Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva from all over the world. But all in all, the pilot of your private lear lets your daughter text her friends while she heads up to camp so having a flexible mobile plan with the best coverage is smart. Real smart.

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HEY OM- ANY NEWS ON THE COURT CASE?

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can anyone answer me why so many students at HAFTR failed the Global Studies Regents? I teach Global and it was an extremely easy exam. Is something dysfunctional with HAFTR's teachers or is it the kids? Why did so many parents call me up and ask me why this regent was "so hard" while my special ed kids in a problem public school passed with flying colors? I know it's not me. The questions are the same every year, just worded different. E'splain Lucy.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'd like to see statistics please. the exact numbers of passes as fails and over-90s in HAFTR and your school.

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that too. My son b"h passed but many of his Haftr friends failed. I know them to be good students and my son said the test was easy. Go figure. Maybe North Shores poaching had an affect on the quality of teachers

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have the teachers/tutors hang out on Sat. night with the Haftr kids on Central Ave

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In response to growing problem of the lack of creativity coming from religious neighborhoods, the Orthodox Union have decided that they are going to purchase hundreds of paint ball guns and a whole lot of paint- so as to teach people in religious communities that it is actually not heretical to have alittle variety in the way one dresses (not just the standard black and white nonsense) - there is going to be a massive color war with paint ball guns amongst the major religious neighborhoods in New York City.

8:57 AM  
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2:29 PM  
Blogger joel rich said...

From Albert Einstein:
His rebellion from his childhood fling with ardent Judaism, coupled with his feelings of detachment from Munich’s Jews, had alienated him from his heritage. “The religion of the fathers, as I encountered it in Munich during religious instruction and in the synagogue, repelled rather than attracted me,” he later explained to a Jewish historian. “The Jewish bourgeois circles that I came to know in my younger years, with their affluence and lack of a sense of community, offered me nothing that seemed to be of value.”

Hamevin Yavin

KT

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Orthomom, are you just trying to attract publicity with this site. Do you wanna get a talk show or sell your words to NBC like Paris Hilton. Where do you stand in the 5 towns? With the people moving in or the people who soon want to move out?

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whats the deal with the OM courtcase???

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

His rebellion from his childhood fling with ardent Judaism, coupled with his feelings of detachment from Munich’s Jews, had alienated him from his heritage. “The religion of the fathers, as I encountered it in Munich during religious instruction and in the synagogue, repelled rather than attracted me,” he later explained to a Jewish historian. “The Jewish bourgeois circles that I came to know in my younger years, with their affluence and lack of a sense of community, offered me nothing that seemed to be of value.”

Hamevin Yavin


Einstein was brilliant, but that does not make him mainsream!!!

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

regarding the global regents - it was harder this year than in previous years. the dbq questions were harder to read, understand, and answer. the dbq essay was a little harder as well, because economic systems is more confusing in general and harder to put in outside information. and some of the multiple choice questions were more specific or worded in a new way not covered in class.

that said, there is no reason for any kid who knows how to read to fail the exam. but it is harder to get over a 90.

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boro Park, you rule. Where the women with shpitzels, teh women with hat, the women with shaitels, with their double mountain buggy and and the bugaboos, the man with the peyos, the man looking down at the floor, they all crowd together and push at the local pizza counter to get their slice of cheese pizza. Forget shomer negiah... Pizza is the first priority!

5:03 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

"intentionally obnoxious".

I think it is intentionally anti-non-orthodox.

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