Chained Women (Longish Post)

I have to say, just when I thought JWB had gone past the point of no return and had completely lost his way, he posted on a topic that I feel very strongly about. The plight of agunot in the jewish community has always been distressing to me. I have much to say on this issue, and I will have to save some of my thoughts for another post or another day, but just a few points.

The issue of agunot has come up recently in my community because of two cases:
1) A local man who is a well-known promoter of jewish music has been denying his wife a get for some years. Somehow, though, the local jewish newspaper printed a front page ad for a benefit concert with this promoters name fron and center. There was also a front page article (really an advertorial - something this editor does too often, making him hard to take seriously), lauding said promoter for his commitment to the jewish community. When the editor was brought up short on this by various people, he shrugged off the blame, basically saying "don't blame me, blame the school who hired him to promote the concert". MOChassid has more details. What I find appalling here, is obviously the lack of accountability for those who support these kinds of men. Here is a man(the editor) who is in a position to help a woman and her children, but instead he refuses to admit that he is doing just the opposite.

2) A local eatery is owned by a man who was apparently employing his brother as manager of the store. This brother of his was denying a get to his wife. Evidently, the owner of the restaurant was contacted by rabbanim telling him to stop supporting his brother, but he refused. E-mails were circulated and phone calls were made to inform members of our community that one way we could help put pressure on this man to give his wife a get was to stop eating in his brother (and employer's) restaurant. Somehow, when I informed various friends and relatives of this, they were reluctant to stop eating there, for various reasons. Some because they can't give up their daily coffee from there (!), others because they feel that they "dont know the whole story". I feel the latter are infinitely more dangerous. There can be no details of the story to mitigate the fact that the man is denying a get to the woman. These facts are black and white. A man can never use a get as a bargaining chip. Period. No matter what other side of the story there is. Take any issues you have up in the civil courts.

What is similar about both these instances, and what gets me so steamed about them, is that here is an opportunity for people to help these women, but instead they either ignore the problem or bend over backwards to explain why it isn't their responsibility.

Well.

Having had a good friend who was an aguna for some time, all I can tell you is that it most definitely is each and every person's responsibility. To the people who say: "Why does the editor of the paper have to get involved in this?", my answer is : "Because he is in a postion to help by boycotting ads for any concerts using this promoter." To the people who say: "Why is it my responsibilty to stop eating in that restaurant?" or worse, "What does this have to do with the restaurant owner, why can't he employ his brother?", my answer is: "Because if you continue to give this guy business, he can continue to pay his brother's salary, and his brother will continue to deny his wife a get because there are no real ramifications". If I had a dime for every stupid, head-in-the-sand comment I got about this issue, I'd have enough money to pay off all these guys to release their chained wives. But I don't get a dime. I just get really pissed off. And right now that's not helping anyone. More to come.

(And yes, I know that plenty of women are guilty of using things like child custody as bargaining chips, but that still does not give these men the right to deny gittin to their wives. And that is for another day.)