"Nanny Park"

Krum put up a post about a speech that was given by a "certain outspoken neighborhood Rabbi". Apparently, the Rabbi:

..recently blasted families in our community who rely too heavily on nannies to raise their children. He referred to the local park filled on a daily basis with hordes of foreign born nannies and their Jewish employers' children as Nanny Park.

Far be it from my place to join in this criticism. As a working mother, there are certainly times when my nanny can be found in the park with my youngest. I wish I could say that my job is not a necessity for my family - it is. I dream of the day when paying tuition, car payments, and my mortgage can be swung on just one salary - OrthoDad's. That day has not yet come. That being said, I do everything in my power to be there to send the kids off on the bus, and am just about always there for them when they get home. I actually took a pay cut a few years back to have more flexible hours so that I could be home more often with the kids. And the days that I am home, I don't go anywhere without my baby. I try my best.

I do agree wholeheartedly, though, with Krum's take on the Rabbi's words:

Orthodox mothers with multiple children often have no choice but to work. Tuition and housing in Orthodox communities are expensive and a single salary is often insufficient. So hiring a babysitter may be a necessity. But the problem is the institution is abused. Once hired, parents too often feel freed from simple parental responsibilities such as tucking their children into bed. In this vein, the rabbi suggested skipping the chupa, the annual dinner, the parlor meeting rather than leaving parenting to the nanny.

I go nowhere in the evenings. I miss every chuppah, and get there when I get there. I miss every parlor meeting, and send a check with my regrets. In my community, the parlor meetings come fast and furious. And while I commend the good people of the Five Towns for being so focused on Tzedakah, I don't feel I can leave my children before bedtime to "show my face" at a friends house. That is why it is so heartening to hear the Rabbi's words, which mesh with my own actions. OrthoDad has said more than once that he thinks that a local Rav should get up and ban couples with young children from going to parlor meetings. Some may say that such a strong move is unecessary, that people should be in possession of enough of their own common sense to figure that out for themselves. But it isn't so simple. When every week, another young couple who I count among my friends is giving up their home for an evening to raise money for a good cause, it's hard to be the one to say no. And I am fully aware that if all of these couples were to stop feeling obligated to attend such events, it would be harder to raise money for these worthy charities. But at what expense are the parents in our community opening their hearts and their checkbooks to these charitable institutions? At our children's expense?

I'm afraid I just can't do it.