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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I Have Had Enough

Seriously. Enough. I have had far, far more than enough of the same two or three trolls who keep coming back to say the same things again and again. Whatever I choose to post about, they find a way to leave rude and obnoxious comment - usually bringing nothing to the discussion at hand but bile.

I get the point. You don't like me. You don't like my blog. And guess what? The feeling is mutual. I don't like you. At all. So seriously, to channel my good friend RenReb here: JUST GO AWAY.

Really. As a rule, I usually don't believe in deleting comments - especially not simply because they are critical of me. I can take it. I generally have a pretty thick skin. But you know what? When the same few people keep coming back again and again simply to trash me, this is not being critical of me. This is also not commenting. This is being revolting and hateful, and I'm going to have to start deleting anything that falls into that category.

When I post on a topic that many bloggers are covering on the same day, yet the same few trolls come only here to trash my motives for putting up an extremely responsible post - then it's personal. Take today, for example. I post on a subject that was covered as well by bloggers all across the Orthodox divide: SIW, Chaptzem, Vos Is Neias, Yeshiva World, Jewschool. Yet somehow, there are numerous obnoxious comments on my site - and only my site - accusing me of "muckraking" or "bringing up a dead issue" or "being on a witch-hunt" for the very person I am vociferously defending. It's clear that it's personal. And it's perfectly fine if you don't like me. But your hate is stinking up my comment sections.

I have gotten enough e-mails from friendly readers telling me that they have never seen such a nasty bunch of anonymous commenters as I have on my blog to know that it isn't just my own take on the matter.

To reiterate what I said above: You don't like my blog? Fine. Please. Do us all a favor. Just stop coming here. Do you really have nothing better to do with your lives than visit a blog you quite obviously don't enjoy reading?? It's clear to everyone here that you find reading my blog a miserable experience. But it's a misery, unlike some others, that is easily remedied. Put yourselves out of your misery and stop coming here. Wouldn't you rather spend some time with your spouses than sit here and call me names?? Are you that miserable in your jobs? I have advice for you: Go to a bar and have a drink. Go to a movie. Take your wives out for a nice dinner. If you still insist on hanging around, you can either keep quiet, post something that qualifies as a substantive comment relating to the issues in my post, or you can expect to see your little bits of obnoxious stupidity summarily deleted.

People, (and you know who you are), it might be time to find yourselves another hobby.

49 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woo Hoo Orthomom!! You go girl!!!

10:28 PM  
Blogger Renegade Rebbetzin said...

Love you, babe. I've been following your threads, and BOY, what a bunch of illiterate, loserish, flaming morons. I'm sorry you've been compelled to waste YOUR time on such pathetic drivel.

Keep it coming, girlfriend!!

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bravo! I put this comment on the thread below this one, but I will paste it here too:


OM you have the rudest commentators. Where do they crawl out of? I am a reader of all of the J-blogs. No one has a clientele that is as rude as yours. (I know not all of your clientele, but a vocal and unpleasant minority) And you certainly are a careful enough blogger that no one should have a problem with you. Some of the others are much less responsible. Can you send some of these commentators their way? I won't name names but really.

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

V'livnei evair lo citain michshol

10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Delurking here to say that this post was a long time coming I totally agree regarding trolls, and good luck to you with banishing them from your kingdom. Because you should never forget that it's your own blog, and YOU make the rules. Awesome move, OM.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Charlie Hall said...

Agree with Rachel here.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Somewhat Anonymous said...

::Insert words of general agreement and moral support here::

What everyone else said.

11:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Orthomom,

I agree, and I am a public school parent. OOOO, we agree, Here is the deal, everyone needs to stop. We all have forgotten one thing, the people on the board are supposed to work for us. I am starting to wonder, who they represent. I agree, I would love to see what we spend so much money on. How bout it board show me the money. I am starting to wonder perhaps these deep rifts are beneficial for some. I do urge all to read the audit of the district on the state web site, and the non public school manual, it will give you the "real" story. It is time to stop. I have never seen a group of people act like this, and that is both sides. People there are good and bad in every walk. I have seen people deliberately walk in the street so I could not drive. I have heard reform jews say thing I would not repeat. Let's face it, it is ugly. What makes matters worse, the press. They just love to see us fight. It is good press. Then they twist it around and publish it. While all the true kkk members watch as we trash our own. We need to get all the mom's of this community together. We need to unite. We need to leave our husbands out of it. Make arrangements through Dr Fitzsimmons to see all the schools. See that are classes have 24-26 kids. Validate things. Know that # 5 school score in the top three on Long Island in math, and 96% in English. #2 On the list as best individual minority elementry in the area, on the state list. # 6 went up. Funny how nobody talks about that. The board should. Why aren't they out in the press with that. Let's find things out on our and stop listenting to gossip. We need to schedule some type of open meeting, not with any organized official, no pta, just mommies, have some coffee and cake, and let us start to rebuild. Instead of selling make magnet schools for our real gifted or a school for International studies that covers Hebrew,English,SPanish. Show Long Island and the state we are unique, and we did not fall apart. We do not want the state to take over. What do you say? I think the mom's will accomplish a lot.

11:08 PM  
Blogger DAG said...

I like that post

11:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you, and I think it should be a weekly meeting when our husband have to watch the kids.

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lovin this post.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:49 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

V'livnei evair lo citain michshol

Don't you mean "eiver"?

11:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sorry I do not read hebrew, and the comment before you was deleted by the author, that is never good. Can you translate what you wrote. Thank You

11:57 PM  
Blogger Shifra said...

As I say on my blog "my house my rules" delete away!! It doesn't mean that you can't take it, it's just that you shouldn't HAVE to!

As a long time reader I'll tell you you are doing us ALL a favor by getting rid of those blowhards.

11:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

krum is just alluding to a certain d***-head or "troll," OM's preferred nomenclature. It loses something in the translation.

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Got it thank you. I thought it was about the mom's unite idea. I thought it is a good idea. A night out cake, no kids. Where and When... Keep up the good work OM

12:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Siding with the majority here: good riddance to bad rubbish. And if it turns out to be your lot in life, OM, to have a few trolls, then let's at least get some who can write clearly and/or punctuate!

1:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OM, what you say is true. There are quite negative people that post on this blog, spewing all sorts of nasty vitriol, for no apparent reason other than to delight in their own crucification of others. I applaud your decision.

But. If I may make a teensy suggestion. On other websites and forums, there are general rules about posting. One of the best rules I've seen is that you're not allowed to start a post or sentence with the word "um" or "uh". I love the explanation they give:

"Don't start your posts with "um" or "uh" or words like that because nine times out of ten, those words precede a snotty correction directed at another poster. It's rude and dismissive and it drives the staff nuts, so please, don't do it. The same goes for "sorry, but..." and "excuse me, but..." and, really, any other snitty post-starter."

I really wish more blogs would implement this approach. It would be nice to have an active discussion on topics without being insulted, flamed, and dismissed as being an idiot/moron, simply for having a difference in opinion.

2:17 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Joel-

I personally trust OM to know the difference between constructive criticism and bile.

7:13 AM  
Blogger orthomom said...

joel rich said...

careful though -if you reject not for tone and but for differing opinions, you'll end up with a "You go girl!!! " following where everyone can pat themselves on the back and not grow at all.

kt


Joel, no worries. There's no chance of my deleting a comment simply becuse the writer doesn't agree with me. That is not the kind of comment I am referring to. I am referring to nasty trolls who come back again and again, and comment anonymously from the same handful of IP addresses, only to criticize my motives for blogging or just to trash me. They are bringing nothing to the table. I don't necessarily even object to a comment that has a harsh tone if the comment is actually on topic. But these comments were not.


Everyone else, thanks for the support on this!

7:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OM,

I think the people who said go girl, really were trying to be supportive, although misguided. What do you think of the anon mom's club?

8:23 AM  
Blogger orthomom said...


I think the people who said go girl, really were trying to be supportive, although misguided. What do you think of the anon mom's club?

I think the idea of parents working together is very attractive. I always hoped that could be the outcome to the discord in the community.

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a shall that trolls can't channel their energy for the good...

8:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

erm...a SHAME

8:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OM,

I am glad you said that. I know some of my friends that would come, and some that would not. Let's face it, change is tough. Septa PTA is have there annual luncheon today. It is at the #2 school at 11:40 (I think) I encourage all who want to become a member of the Special Education Pta to come meet our wonderful parent. Interesting enough, her son is bused in from another district. I find that maker her very neutral. Any parent of a child who has special needs should join this wonderful group. Some members of this organization are CSE parent members. They sit it on these special education meetings and advocate for ALL the parents. They have special needs children themselves. They might be able to shed some insight on what is going on. I have to tell you, all our discussions are about special education, and not who said what. Please come

9:19 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

OM, I wouldn't worry. This group is obviously a small, small, minority of your substantial readership. Just think of how big the audience is for their idiocy.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Orthonomics said...

Definitely use the delete key. The circus makes the comments unreadable.

Great blog.

10:19 AM  
Blogger DovBear said...

(1) You should delete without apology and without explanation anytime you feel like it. You don't owe anyone the opportunity to comment on your blog, and you can revoke the privelage of commenting at your discretion, for any reason you choose.

(2) A tip: Do it quietly, without calling any attention to the deletion. Make the nastys disapear, and go about your business without saying a word. They'll get frustrated, and you'll keep your cool.

(3) A moshol: When a dog barks at you on the street, no one expect you to bark back.

(4) All trolls are cordially invited to comment at DovBear. I can't promise to let you stay (I've banned about a dozen commenters over the last two years) but you're welcome to give it a go.

10:53 AM  
Blogger and so it shall be... said...

OM, based on the stupidity I read on your and other jblog comment boards, I realize what a favor the J-theocrats do us all by banning internet use.

If some people are just too stupid to use the web responsibly, then they should be banned. And by logical extension, deleted.

Thank you for making this a more pleasant place for all thinking people!

10:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"This might be true, but for the most part, most Frum Jewish women received a better education than their husbands."

... maybe in Lakewood

11:12 AM  
Blogger MUST Gum Addict said...

I have to say, the concept it brilliant. By deleting nasty comments, people will be logging in every couple of seconds to catch those nasty comments before they are deleted. That will drive traffic through the roof. I'm only surprised that DB didn't think of it first.

Which raises a far more important and ethical question: if a visitor leaves a nasty comment and that comment is then deleted, is that visit considered a valid hit. Or does the site meter have to go l'mafraiya? Yesh breira o ain lo braira?

Also, OM, deleting comments, or otherwise "cleaning up" a blog can be a tedious task. I would guess the real 5T thing to do would be to hire a maid to come and clean the blog several days a week. But then you'll have to put up with people commenting about how you're neglecting your blog when you should be raising it up as one of your own...

Oh wait, I forgot, I don't read/write/comment on blogs anymore...

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, snap, sounds like somebody can dish it out but can't take it! Maybe instead of telling people to stop coming to your blog you should fold it up if you can't take the heat.

12:06 PM  
Blogger orthomom said...

Anonymous said...

Oh, snap, sounds like somebody can dish it out but can't take it! Maybe instead of telling people to stop coming to your blog you should fold it up if you can't take the heat.



Now wouldn't that make you all too happy..

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon 12:06, get a life. OM just told you off and you come back.

I think that the 1000 or so readers OM's sitemeter shows a day would not agree with yoru advice to her to close her blog.

OM, keep up the great blogs.

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Odd commment, 12:55, since OM has chosen not to share her site meter results with the public, so how would you know how many readers, unless you are dutifully subtracting the total each day on the hit counter from the number at the start. Unlikely. This blog seems very popular with a select group of fellow bloggers, and it is definitely a good read, well-written and often well balanced and that's why I visit, but let's not delude ourselves with this thousands of readers claim.

1:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon, there is nothing odd about it, actually. According to her site meter, OM had approximately 37,000 visitors since April 4 (which is when she hit 100,000 according to her post), which was approximately 60 days ago. Subtract 10 days to account for shabbos and yomtov and it yeilds approximately 750 or so visitors per day. Throw in the fact that activity on Sundays and legal holidays is likely way down, and you get pretty close to 1000 per day. But, I guess, you would have to do that arithmetic "dutifully."

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OM, ever hear the expression "If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen?"

I love this post. Can't wait for the "you are either with me or against me" post coming soon. Once a month I can count on a good rant and rave about your own blog. It is what keeps me coming back to your blog and keeps our marriage, I mean my blogging alive. Maybe try a little "seasonale" postings. You'll only have an outburst 4 times a year with that one.

5:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is quite something....



Hamas Militants Storm Palestinian TV Facility
and not quite something

1:46 AM  
Blogger have popcorn will lurk said...

You Go Girl!

And DB and Must Gum Addict - You Go Boys!

LOL

4:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To all the "trolls" who - I guess - have come back after all.

There is a significant difference between disagreeing with someone (even if it is a "Gadol" - and one should do that with the appropriate respect) and plain old nastiness and vitriol.

I had decided a while back not to read any more comments because I'm offended by fury hidden behind cowardly anonymity.

It's not about disagreeing - we all should rationaly argue our positions. It's about not being nice... in public.

I thank Orthomom for her hard work in running this blog. And by the way, who cares how many hits the blog gets every day? If I'm interested in a person's view, or their writing style or whatever, I'll come back for more postings even if I'm the only visitor. I would guess that only those who care how many read THEIR comments are interested in that statistic.

Good shabbos.

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't tell me anyone but OM did the math on those statistics. But then "anonymous" is your middle name.

9:49 AM  
Blogger orthomom said...


Anonymous said...

Don't tell me anyone but OM did the math on those statistics.


Actually, I didn't. I wouldn't need to. I get to see my own sitemeter. But he/she happens to be right.

But then "anonymous" is your middle name.

Um...said the anonymous commenter.

10:08 AM  
Blogger orthomom said...

Moshe Cederbaum: Thanks for your wise words.

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OM, what happended to not starting sentences with the word "Um," as the commenter above suggested?

Or no more one word sentences? They. Are. Off. Putting. Seriously. Really.

Otherwise, you have a great blog!

:)

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